Starring – Megan Follows
Directed by Cassandra Nicolaou
Where Are The Dolls is a short film that is only about 6 minutes long, but sometimes a film can say a hell of a lot in just 6 minutes and this film does. With basically no background told of the character, we watch Megan Follows (remember her from the Anne of Green Gables movies?) hesitantly walk down a city street, stopping at a door in what looks like an abandoned alley. She stares at 3 women as they pass by her and enter into the door which leads to a lesbian dance club (do those really exist?). She looks at the door, fear filling her eyes. Once in the club, she dances the night away, until she feels and then sees the 3 women staring at her. She hides from them in the bathroom, where another woman follows her. “I couldn’t breathe,” she tells the woman, “I can’t breathe.” I can’t breathe either when it comes to Megan Follows. Anyway, the two women then kiss passionately, but stop, and Megan just holds her like she knows she may never hold another woman again. Or maybe it’s because she hasn’t held a woman in a long time and it has been killing her spending her whole being just trying to hide who she really is, a woman who loves women.
The film is inspired by the poem “Where Are The Dolls Who Love Me So” by Elizabeth Bishop. In just 6 minutes we see a woman who is deeply conflicted about her sexuality experience the deep pain of denying who she is. This pain is consuming her and maybe for one night she can forget the pain, but in the end, she can’t.
This film should be made into a feature length film immediately!
Here’s the poem of Where Are The Dolls Who Loved Me So –
Where are the dolls who loved me so
when I was young?
Who cared for me with hands of bisque,
poked breadcrumbs in between my lips,
Where are the early nurses,
Gertrude, Zilpha and Nokomis?
Through their real eyes
and play wrist‐watches
whose hands moved only when they wanted –
Their stoicism I never mastered
their smiling phrase for every occasion –
They went their rigid little ways
To meditate in trunks or closets
To let unforeseen emotions
glance off their glazed complexions
And here it is, the full movie!