Alien Films

admin 13 November, 2017 Comments Off on Alien Films
Alien Films
  • Sigourney Weaver and Carrie Henn kicking ass together!! Priceless!!!

Author’s Note: Review originally posted in June 2013, but all this Alien sequel madness and a new cat has forced me to re-publish and update this review/blog. When Ripley talks, this bitch listens. Hey, I saw what she did to that alien queen. I ain’t stupid. Just stubborn. Ask my poor, exhausted wife.

Alien, 1979; Aliens, 1986; Alien 3, 1992; Alien Resurrection, 1997

Starring – Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Veronica Cartwright, John Hurt, Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, Carrie Henn, Winona Ryder
Directed by Ridley Scott, James Cameron, David Fincher, Jean-Pierre Jeunet

In space, no one can hear you scream.”  The famous tagline on the poster to the first film, Alien.

“Get away from her you BITCH!” Ripley from the sequel, Aliens, yelling at the queen alien.

Back in the summer of 1986, I was 13 years old. That summer my friend, Jeff, suggested that we go see the new film Aliens. But before we could see Aliens, first we had to rent the video of its predecessor, Alien. (Remember VHS tapes and having to rent them from video rental stores?) We knew nothing about this Alien film, so we were quite disturbed and grossed-out when the alien burst out of John Hurt’s chest. I remember screaming, something I rarely do when watching a movie because I never watch scary movies. I have this odd aversion to being scared. (Hint: It has to do with a certain Joan Crawford Junior that ran our home.) But then after Jeff and me screamed and screamed and screamed for our lives, we then realized how fucking cool that whole alien bursting out of John Hurt’s chest was and after Jeff and me got done screaming and running for our lives, we hit the “rewind” button and watched us some more John Hurt chest exploding over and over and over again. Hey, we were like 13, what did you expect? Logic?

Anyway enough about my issues with scary movies. I was completely unprepared for how this sequel, Aliens, would change my life. (Age 13 and 1986 was a very significant year for me and now I gotta go learn about numerology, apparently.) I had one of my first full-blown crushes on a woman after seeing Aliens. And that woman was, and still is, the lovely Sigourney Weaver. Not only are the four films really good (well, that last one was confusing, but Sigourney kicked ass in it, so who cares), but in my world, I like to see the character of Ripley, who was played by Sigourney Weaver, who starred in all four films and did I mention that yet? That Sigourney Weaver played Ripley? Well, just in case you missed it or maybe love and lust is making me repeat myself, so damn, here I go repeating myself again, Sigourney Lovely Lovely Weaver played badass butch Ripley and I have ALWAYS seen the character of Ripley as a badass lesbian. Okay, so she slept with a guy in Alien 3, (she could be bisexual, that’s a thing too, you know), but that was just to distract us from the fact that this woman is a super butch, badass lesbian. Hey, I can dream can’t I?! Well maybe my dreaming isn’t too far off since Ripley’s relationship with Call (Winona Ryder) in the fourth Alien film was suspiciously lesbian in nature. Look at THAT picture above. Just saying.

The first two films are the best, but the other two are pretty good as well. Well, like I said, the fourth one is a bit ridiculous at times, but worth it just to see Sigourney Weaver kicking ass as Ripley one more, but hopefully not last time. I recommend seeing the uncut version of Aliens because it includes a scene near the beginning of the film that gives further depth to why Ripley risks everything to save the little girl, Newt.   

Who knew a film about an alien would help to lead me to the long path of my sexual awakening? And I still have a HUGE crush on Sigourney Weaver. Even in her sixties and daring to near 70 years young, she is still a beautiful and badass woman. And maybe she is inspiring a character or two in some of the novels I am writing. But only maybe. A writer has to keep some secrets, you know. 😉

Fun Fact 1: A prequel to the entire series was released in 2012 titled, Prometheus. There are supposed to be a couple of more films to follow, but alas, Sigourney Weaver wasn’t in Prometheus, but I’m hoping she’ll at least have a cameo in one of the sequels. Please. Just for me. 🙂

Update or Fun Fact 2 (You decide): Oh my! A sequel to Prometheus came out in 2017 and it has a gay couple! (I think I was the only one who liked Prometheus because fan boys need to get a grip on reality). I still need to see the sequel, which means my life has gotten too hectic if I’m missing an Alien sequel/prequel even if Sigourney Lovely Weaver isn’t in it. Life, can you slow down a little, please?

Fun Fact 3 That Turned into a Sad Fact: A real actual sequel to Aliens was actually in the works for like a couple of years. So that meant that Sigourney Kick Ass Weaver was going to play Ripley at like 70 years YOUNG. See, KICK ASS LADY! But I guess people decided never mind, but I wanna know why? It was a great idea, people! Whatever. Anyway, thank you Sigourney for giving a little repressed lesbian in the 1980s a picture of a tomboy who kicked ass. And also a very, very special thank you to Carrie Henn, who played the little girl, Newt in Aliens, who also kicked ass at just 7 years old with Sigourney and Ripley by her side, allowing Carrie and Newt to lead the way because sometimes kids can be stronger than adults and this movie MORE than proved that hard truth that is rarely admitted in real life, much less in movie life. Carrie and Newt showed me that a little lost girl can be just as brave and strong, if not more so than stupid adults. Aliens in many, many, many ways saved my life because of these two amazing women. Thank you, Sigourney and Carrie, from the bottom of my sad, but slowly healing heart. My wife thanks you too. 🙂

P.S.: My wife says that I can name our next cat Newt, and for more about that tale, go here…if you dare that is…you never know…it might just be John Hurt’s chest exploding… 😉

Update to the P.S. 11/13/2017: Well, we added a cat to our very lonely single cat household this year (we used to have 4 other cats, but sadly they all passed away, hence our very lonely single cat household), but we got a boy cat instead of a girl cat, so I couldn’t name him Newt, BUT since he looks just like the cat, Jonesy from the Alien movies, guess who decided to name him Jonesy? Yep, me. So, no Newt, still, but Jonesy is pretty awesome! And a handful. It’s kind of like having a toddler at this point, he is into EVERYTHING, especially if that EVERYTHING is food. Good Lord that Jonesy loves himself some food. But he’s brought our cat, Nariko, out of a lonely funk and now she gets to dominate him when she needs a pick-me-up or when he’s just driving her nuts. It’s never boring in our apartment now with Jonesy in our life. Not that it was boring before, but now, good Lord, definitely no time for boredom!

Jonesy and Nariko amongst all of my infomercial gym equipment. A rare, quiet moment for him. Nariko was relieved to relax for once, trust me. And I think I might be the only person who actually uses the gym equipment I buy from these infomercials, because some of this equipment is like 20 years old now, but I am still getting my money’s worth, dammit! 

Jonesy, pretending to be innocent, but don’t let him fool you, that wicker basket belongs to Nariko! It used to belong to all of my remotes, but Nariko took it over one day and then Jonesy tried to take it from her, but she let him know, hey Buddy, the wicker basket is mine! My remotes have resigned themselves to a much smaller wicker basket that our cats don’t seem to be interested in, which is good because I’m out of wicker baskets if the cats claim that one too.

Sad update: RIP Mr. Hurt. God, you were a brilliant actor. You always managed to scare the ever-loving shit out of me. Alien, 1984, V for Vendetta, The Elephant Man. Brilliant man. Brilliant actor. Amazing career. 

Another sad update: RIP Mr. Paxton. God, you were good in Aliens, along with everything else you did. You were even good in Weird Science. You will be so missed.